Hear the Call. Taste the Truthiness. Colbert for President
The time is now, Nation. Everything is in place. Stephen Colbert has announced his nomination. His image and name already grace countless signs, billboards and bumper-stickers (inaccurate though some have now become). His delicious ice cream, AmeriCone Dream, allows us not just to hear and watch but even taste the truthiness.
Stephen Colbert for President: Taste the Truthiness!
Stephen Colbert is donating his proceeds from the sale of AMERICONE DREAM to charity through The Stephen Colbert AmeriCone Dream Fund. The Fund will support charities of concern to Stephen such as food and medical assistance for disadvantaged children, helping veterans and their familes, and environmental causes. Said Colbert, “I will save the world.”
Long story short, the pawns are assembled. The Nation is ready. The world is in need. And it’s time to use that readiness.
We have several goals:
1) Pick a running mate. Suggestions, anyone?
2) Organize local grassroots support. Volunteers, anyone?
3) Work together to form the sturdiest, most ostentatious and impressive show of online support any candidate or political process in this nation or world has ever SEEN!
Colbert is running as a “favorite son” candidate. Ignoring the sexism inherent in the term, the definition includes the following:
In U.S. politics, nominating favorite sons was also used as a technique to send uncommitted delegations to a national convention of the Democratic or Republican Party. A popular or well-known governor or senator would be nominated, but was not a serious candidate. At some point during the convention, the favorite son would withdraw, freeing his delegates to support another candidate. The technique allowed senior leaders from the state to negotiate with candidates for preferential treatment.
Nation, we cannot allow such tomfoolery to occur. Just because some persnickety tradition states that favorite … child candidates give up his or her delegates. And who’s to say those delegates even have to go? I say South Carolinians should stick to Colbert like white on rice, no matter what he says. It’s the American thing to do. After all, our government is already based on truthiness - why not make it official?
October 22nd, 2007 at 9:49 pm
Running-mate: Kucinich. All the way. The mini-colbert already endorsed him, and I would BUST MY ASS campaigning for that ticket.
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:45 pm
As a running mate, I think you should seriously consider the AOL Running Man. He’s the perfect running mate. He can, uh, run. And the best thing about him is he has no mouth so he’ll never say the wrong thing! Think about it. The only problem I foresee is on the war issue. Some may call him yellow. But even so, that could be a plus, he could be considered a chicken-hawk and you could pick up the chicken-hawk vote (neo-cons).
October 24th, 2007 at 11:11 am
John Stewert for running mate. Us over in AZ are with you all the way.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
Manna - No American’s pockets would be safe in that case. Beware!
Adele - Ever wonder how the AOL running man would fare on the dystopic future television show, “The Running Man”? Or Colbert, for that matter? He’d make a better gladiator - slaying criminals with cold, hard truthiness.
Derek - He ain’t runnin. Remember how Colbert ripped his name off the bumper sticker?
Keep the ideas comin’, Nation. We need them. Stephen needs them. Just like he needs you.
October 24th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Matthew Mcconaughey, fo’ sho’ .
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October 24th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
hell yeah that’s what i was gonna say!!!John Stewart!!!! I think you guys could do it and it would be the shit!!
October 25th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
I like Stewart a lot. He’s so damn smart and well-grounded!
October 26th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Stephen needs someone as intelligent as he is - I think Jon Stewart would make a great running mate, but I doubt he’d want to take backseat to our dear Stephen. How about John Kerry? No, wait. He was too downtrodden after the last election. Ralph Nader, maybe? The poor guy’s got to get a break one of these days.
October 27th, 2007 at 11:13 am
Dick Cheney. You may need a backup because he’s kinda old…but he’s probably your least controversial pick.
October 28th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
The only man worthy of carrying the “Truthiness” banner as Colbert running mate…is Colbert himself. End of story.
October 29th, 2007 at 9:43 am
Steve Carell is a must for the Colbert ‘08 ticket. Anyone who has seen them together on the Even Stephven sketches understands the true power of their paired incredible genius minds.
October 29th, 2007 at 11:19 am
Stephen, i want you to know of the seriousness of some of your followers. i will now only eat drink and use products that support the Colbert election or the Colbert show. i will freely offer my time and what ever illegal aliens i can get from the local home depot for your support. cause seriously hillary isn’t even an option
October 29th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Finally someone running for President that just tells it how it is!!!