Stephen Colbert for President 2008!

From Stephen’s Mouth

Colbert speaks to his Nation:

“Although I lost by the slimmest margin in presidential election history—only 10 votes—I have chosen not to put the country through another agonizing Supreme Court battle,” Colbert said Monday in a statement. “It is time for this nation to heal.”

Colbert had said he would run only in his native South Carolina, a key primary state. He said he planned to run as a Democrat and a Republican—so he could lose twice. Colbert, 43, later declined to file with the GOP, which has a much higher filing fee ($35,000) than the Democrats ($2,500).

“I want to say to my supporters, this is not over,” Colbert said. “While I may accept the decision of the Council, the fight goes on! The dream endures! … And I am going off the air until I can talk about this without weeping.”

Anyone else notice a creepy coincidence between Colbert’s loss of both his presidential campaign AND his platform? This writers’ strike seems eerily well-timed. We should see whether those South Carolina Democrats had anything to do with it.

We are currently soliciting any sightings of President Colbert in window frost, cheese mold or tear-stained Colbert ‘08 T-shirts.

From Brian and the Judge

[youtube t5cZ8aOC27E nolink]


One Response to “From Stephen’s Mouth”

  1. Will C. Says:

    FYI Colbert. I am establishing residency in South Carolina just so I can vote (and do a write in ballot if I need to) for you. Here’s to the fringe and the spirit of American Democracy. Death to the two party duopoloy? Yes, I am a Californian but I will be a Colbertite!

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