Stephen Colbert for President 2008!

Truthiness in Action

The brave folk over at OC Weekly have hijacked our truthiness for their own purposes. But they are noble purposes.

Though this is not necessarily campaign-related, its news significance is staggering enough, and the truthiness emphasized enough, to warrant a reference.

We need something to cheer us up after the South Carolina Snub.

 

 

Truthiness About Carona Revealed!

Turns out our Scott Moxley had everything wrong about Sheriff Carona, according to the DC-based news source Prime Legitimate News. The pictures between Carona and Las Vegas mobster Rick Rizzolo? Carona “went undercover as a corrupt cop” in “an undercover police uniform pretending to party, accept large cash contributions, even going so far as to sample strippers in Rizzolo’s presence to make the criminals believe that he would be the kind of man who might throw his Christian values out the door in exchange for sex and cash.” Carona allowing a felon to film inside off-limits Homeland Security facilities? According to PLN, “The whole anti-terror exercise was a FAKE! Carona organized the entire phony exercise so that the Saudis would THINK they knew how America does anti-terror, but they really had no clue at all.”

“By reporting the story,” PLN concludes, “the OC Weekly blew Carona’s cover just like Joe Wilson blew his wife’s cover as a CIA agent when he started criticizing the War On Terror.” Read more of PLN’s shocking truthiness here.


Minor Hiccup

The Colbert campaign has hit its first bump in the road.

Also, the campaign has been forced to deal with the abortion issue early on.

Simply put, the Democratic Party of South Carolina is attempting to abort the Colbert Campaign.

From MTV News:

So much for being South Carolina’s favorite son: Despite polling ahead of at least three of the candidates who’ve been stumping hard in South Carolina, Comedy Central faux conservative Stephen Colbert’s bid to get on the ballot for the upcoming Democratic primary in his home state was shot down on Thursday (November 1) by the executive committee of the South Carolina Democratic Party. Colbert’s bid was voted down 13-3.

The Doritos-sponsored campaign, which was announced last month, seemed to be on the road to legitimacy this week when Colbert’s campaign paid the $2,500 filing fee necessary to get into the race just before the noon deadline on Thursday, according to The Associated Press.

Less than two hours later, though, the executive committee of the state’s party denied Colbert’s bid when it voted not to certify the candidacy, according to Keiana Page, a communications assistant in the state Democratic Committee’s office. Using criteria such as whether the candidate was recognized in the national news media as a legitimate candidate and whether they’d actively campaigned in the state, the committee put the kibosh on the Colbert bid.

Ha! Laughable. Obviously this is a clever ploy to generate enough sympathy for Colbert to raise enough cold hard fundage (by which I mean cashalicious moolah-bucks) to run on the Republican ticket. Yes, we know Colbert will rise from this, not like a phoenix from the ashes but like a hybrid phoenix-eagle that somehow rises from the ashes of the corrupt American political system - a phoeagle, or an eanix.

Let’s go with phoeagle. Eanix sounds too much like a hick or a dong.

Of course we all know that now Colbert has no excuse not to just run nationally, double-negatives be damned. I mean, let’s be honest … all he has to do is snap his fingers. Hell, one finger. Colbert just has to snap his finger and we, his Nation, will rise to support him. Because at least he makes us smile.

Say It Ain't So, Colbert


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