Telegraphing Colbert’s Message
On Telegraph.co.uk, the newspaper’s US editor Toby Harnden has posted a terrific entry discussing Mark Twain as a presidential candidate. Y’all ought to check it out, ’specially as he had the decency to link to our fine blog. Harnden writes:
Have written a piece for the paper about Mark Twain, Mark Twain lookalikes and the 2008 election. Twain impersonator Jim Wadell was kind enough to give me a copy of Twain’s manifesto for president, entitled “Mark Twain as a Candidate” and published in the “Frankford Chronicle on January 1st 1879.
Twain was essentially doing what Stephen Colbert tried this month before falling foul of Democrats in South Carolina – mounting a presidential bid in character as a ludicrous political figure as a way of highlighting the emptiness of much that goes on in US politics. Patt Morrison of the LA Times makes the comparison in a very good oped about “joke” candidacies here.
World-wide, baby. Already the Colbert Nation is spreading its message across the Atlantic. In the comments to that blog, I was challenged to put forth Colbert’s Manifesto. Here is my humble effort.
MANIFESTO COLBERTO
Stephen Colbert’s manifesto, though I cannot claim to speak it with any authority or permission, is thus:
America is no longer just a Nation Indivisible - It is a Nation Undeniable. Why can it not be denied? Because only the truth can be denied; but America no longer deals in such trivialities as the truth. We have become a Nation of Truthiness. We have become a Nation that transcends reality in favor of Wikiality. We are a Nation of triumphant eagles, soaring high above the brutish bears stuck to the terra firma of outdated ideals. We are no longer just A Nation. We are THE Nation. The Colbert Nation. United We Stand. Tread On Us Do Not. The Buck Stopped Here Already.For clarification, I recommend conducting research at www.stephencolbert08.com
I NEED YOU, NATION, TO CONSTRUCTIVELY CRITICIZE THIS MANIFESTO.
Now tell us what you think. The winning suggestion, as decided by a panel of four webmasterful judges, wins a hand-inked scroll with the manifesto done in the calligraphic style of your choice. No fibbin’!
November 5th, 2007 at 7:41 am eSomeone publish names and phone numbers of sc committee. We must protest!
November 5th, 2007 at 8:59 am eI called the committee (800 841-1817) (info@scdp.org)and they listened to me but they sort of blew me off. They better start taking Stephen seriously. Everyone should call and email to protest South Carolina’s discrimination against Stephen just because he happens to tell jokes. Every other politician tells a joke once in a while!
November 5th, 2007 at 9:55 am eDisagree with the SC Dems? Let them know what you think:
http://www.colbertforsouthcarolina.com/
November 5th, 2007 at 9:36 pm eMy top 10 reasons for Stephen Colbert as President of South Carolina:
10.) Really, do we need to have any reasons to vote for this guy?
9.) The next time a comedian goes on TV and gets the guys from Crossfire fired it could be the Prez himself.
8.) Nacho Cheese Doritos
7.) Second best interviewer after John Stewart. Maybe this way the leader of the free world can actually hold a conversation with the rest of the leaders of the free world. Instead of just trying to look like they are having a good time together.
6.) 1.200.000 Friends on Facebook
5.) “I, Stephen Colbert, do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe . . . Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient synesthetic inspiration and sinister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant”.
If you can say this really fast, you can run this country better then most current runners-for-the-presidency.
4.) ~4200 new voter registrations since putting a link up on Facebook, thats 1 voter a minute. Maybe soon 53 percent in the great state of South Carolina go vote.
3.) The other guys didn’t think that he was who they thought he was. They let him off the hook!
2.) Vice President: John Stewart
1.) He is funnier then W, and he does it on purposery.
Thanks for the info on how to get in touch with the Dems of SC, I just wrote them an email to let them know why Colbert would make a better Prez then the last one!
November 8th, 2007 at 4:30 am e[…] All I know is I’m going to continue to go through a carton of Americone Dream a day until the truthiness is revealed and this crisis is over. By which I mean, I hope I wake up soon. […]
November 8th, 2007 at 9:55 am eMR. COLBERTR YOU SIR:ARE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON TV. I CERTAINLY DO NOT TUNE YOU IN ON COMEDY CENTRAL. BY ACCIDENT I I SAW YOU ON MEET THE PRESS.AND ON THE FACTOR. YOU’RE NOT FUNNY, IN FACT WE FIND YOU OBNOXIOUS, AND POMPAS. YOU ARE A JOKE AND I AM NOT LAFFING. BE WELL, KEEP B SING THE PUBLIC.
November 8th, 2007 at 10:05 am eMr. Andreoni;
I’m not sure who this “Mr. Colbertr” is with whom you seem to have much beef. I would say you are in fact heavy with beef. And “We” find you obnoxious? Is that the royal we, or are you claiming to represent some form of a constituency? Those with beef say No to Colbert, apparently. And those without dictionaries or keyboards without sticky Caps Lock buttons. Personally, nation, I think we need a new term to describe the failure of an insultor to convey an insult to an insultee (in this case me) due to inherent flaws in grammar and spelling. Today’s word is “MISMEANING” It’s like a misspelling, except it goes so far as to cloud what you mean and generally start the fubar train rolling towards the what-the-hell-happened depot.
If Stephen Colbert is POMPAS, it simply demonstrates his exceptional talents. I mean, I’ve never even heard the word pompas, let alone know that someone could BE it.
Mr. Andreoni, I am not laffing either. In fact, no one is laffing or has ever laffed. I think only the pompas can laff. Such things are beyond us mere mortals.
Finally, I don’t know what it means to B Sing the public. But I’m sure Stephen Colbert can and will do it. And he’ll do it with aplomb; he’ll do it with panache; he’ll do it with god-damn PRESIDENTIALITY!
With great respect and humble gratitude to all posters, as intelligent minds can disagree,
Alex Brant-Zawadzki
StephenColbert08.com